Hello World!

People throughout the world are reading this blog. Sad, because that means there are people out there that need to know more about Mantle Cell Lymphoma and have used the internet to find information. There just is not enough current information on this cancer. There are references to many that have survived, or not survived their cancers and some probably had mantle cell, but it was not differentiated from other cancers yet. The blog is a history, a reference, a report, a story. For those global readers, may God bless you in your personal journeys in the Mantle Cell Lymphoma world, you will need all you can and will receive.

Today, as I thought about the blogging thing, I feel it tells the love story between the two of us during our new part of life. The most important thing I have learned, thus far anyway, is that there are some things that do not matter, and others that matter a lot. These things will probably be different for everyone, but for me, caring for one another is at the top of the list. Several posts ago, I wrote that "it is not about me" and it isn't. It is about everyone else. And in my career; my forever theme stands as "it is all about the kids, everything we do should be centered around the kids, everything."

Today, by the way, we met with Dale's "regular" doctor who we had not seen since the original diagnosis in June. He was very concerned and apologetic that we were going through this experience. He verified the paperwork necessary for home bound health care, and we were on our way.

Up all night

Dale was up all night. I think he is getting anxious for the next round and if he is able to stay this week. Since he was up, my sleep was minimal...my mind all over the place with "what ifs," "when it happens, I will have to," and "what will I do with/when..." Thoughts have been going in both directions, when remission sets in and when it is finished. I think also of the many great things and experiences we share. We do well together and get better all the time.

Still home and well enough to be there

Seems to be going just fine. Last day of the antibiotics. Wit is sharp and appetite is fine. We had good visitors yesterday, all within 15 minutes of each other. Dale must have been sending out signs of some sort that brought the friends over. Nice job! It was good to visit with people.

I seem to be handling things better now. Perhaps it is because we have an idea of what to expect and understand this journey a bit more. Or perhaps it is because so many people are caring and praying for us. Probably both! And we appreciate everyone's thoughts and caring services to us.

It has been nice to have Dale home for an extra week, except that even though the infection he obtained is being attacked, what about that cancer thing that got him here in the first place? Is that in a dormant stage or slowly attacking his body?

We have a doctor's appointment on Monday with his "regular" physician that Huntsman set up. Don't know what that will be for. I suspect paperwork, insurance needs and general health reporting.

Jail time

On my way out to work Friday morning, I stated to Dale that it must feel like he is in prison. He worked for 20+ years as adult probation & parole agent and knows prisons and jails. He quickly replied; "Yes, but my cell mate has work release and leaves every day!" True in a couple of ways; he is confounded at home, must be escorted in safety to hospitals, and is limited in his activities in the home. Downstairs is off limits unless I am home to assist him up and down the stairs. Myself, as the cell mate, once my work release is over for a day, come directly home and begin the care-taking needs with my schedule of activities revolving around medication administration needs, emergency transportations, and chemotherapy treatment schedules. So it is a bit of confinement for both of us.

However, we are not alone in this world. There are many (mostly women) that are care takers of spouses, children, friends and their main hope for a day is a successful, uneventful, and medical emergency free day. As I talk with Mom, my world has become like hers has been for a number of years, with increases in needs as years provide decreases in my step-father's health. We started to number a few of her friends and acquaintances that are in the same situation.  The men are failing, the women prevailing. Hmmm.

Health for Dale today is okay, although he is complaining that he does not feel right. That means many things. I hope the antibiotics are working like they should be, that he can make it until the next round of chemotherapy, and that round 3A will be smooth. Extra time between rounds is good in that he has more time to recover from the last round of chemo, however, it makes for the process to go on and on and on with the end not foreseeable because the "scheduled calendar" changes and Dale has more time at home in his cell, as he tries to be pleasant, uncomplaining and compliant with doctor's orders.

One more day down

Mellow day. No mishaps. No events. Yahoo!

Sanitized the front room last night and Dale's bathroom last week. Everyone should do that at least twice a year. Hire it out if you can. Stimulate the economy-create jobs. Dust gathers. Crumbs are found. Coins sucked in by the vacuum. But it is done. Should do master bedroom and bath. One room is enough for this week.

Maybe next week

I took Dale to Huntsman for his Wednesday to Wednesday start of chemo, but they sent him back home. The infection treatment must run its course, so I traveled one more time to Huntsman and brought him back home. He is feeling okay, although, he reports that his feet and legs are somewhat numb and uncomfortable. His medications were adjusted to half of what it was. Hopefully, still doing what it needs to do to eradicate the infection.

There is a nice article in the paper about the Huntsman Center. They have expanded and opened up the bone marrow transplant sections. Dale will go there instead of at the U's hospital. It is a nice place. They take care to provide for the cancer patients. http://www.deseretnews.com/article/705393213/Huntsman-Cancer-Institutes-latest-expansion-is-evidence-of-hope-that-a-cure-will-be-found.html

I got an email from Mom. She called me all sorts of names (and titles), and told me to get a massage and facial to assist in taking care of the caretaker. I just might have to take her up on that idea...but when can I fit that into the day?

At 78% production

Dale did well on his own today, was serenaded by our 71 year old neighbor and his newly found love learning to play the banjo, several friends from the young singles group, and calls from many friends. That really, really helps, gives hope, and purpose to keep going. We giggled many times this evening. It felt good. Tomorrow begins 3A (8 days of treatment). He is ready and not anxious as other cycles. That I am glad for. By the time I got home, though, Dale was doing another load of laundry. A couple of bouts with diarrhea, but did okay. No lightheaded episodes today.

Several people came to me today. One saying that my coloring looks better and that it appears that I must be rested. Another said I looked kind of pale and should probably go home. Later, one more told me she didn't think I looked too well, gave me a big hug and made sure I could carry on. Yet one more, actually held my face and asked if I was alright! I'm going with the first one of better coloring and rested! I am so confused. Can't I just be alright and do what needs to be done? I actually felt dumpy and tired today. My production rate was at about 78%, however, was able to check off four things on my list at work. Not telling how long that list is...

All-in-all, Dale and I are doing alright. We have learned much about this whole deal and am carrying on okay. Perhaps some of my stressors can be lessoned as we continue with cancer treatment routines and I can function more efficiently/effectively. I will transport him to Huntsman in the morning for his labs and admissions for next round. We both thank everyone for the continuous, genuine concern, and care for both of us. It is working. Thank you!! It is felt and helps us both to get up each day.

Arrrgh!

Left Dale home all day long by himself. He was able to change the medication line and flush it out all by himself after I hooked it up in the morning. It is awkward, but doable. A bit of independence for him. That is a good thing. Dale reported to me, however, that he had a lightheaded fainting episode, no falling or stumbling, but enough he had to stay put, not move further and gain balance and sight. He then took his blood pressure and it was low. His eyes have the dark circles and he is going downhill. Get through today, and tomorrow begins the next chemo cycle 3A. A friend brought dinner to him, I am glad for that also. People continue to ask what they can do and dinners are a good thing every so often.

Today, as I pondered our "situation" at this time, I have thought of the many things Dale has taught me and I am grateful. We make a pretty balance couple--except I presently have one complaint. He now weighs less than me and I have found all that he has lost. I was hoping the stress would somehow work the other way for me. But no!!! Arrrgh!

Old wrinkled eyes

I noticed Dale's eyes today are looking old and wrinkled. It must be the chemo. We can't be getting older. I am much younger anyway, so I can't be looking that old yet! They adjusted the level of the antibiotic for the next couple of days, so I have to freeze what we did not use, thinking that we may use it at another time they said. Besides, they can't take it back. I must give it to him every 12 hours, so that puts a bit of planing to accomplish in a timely manner. He rested nicely for the day, ate my fantastic cooking, and rested some more. His son, daughter-in-law and their twins delighted us with a visit. I took them to some of our swings, a zip-line, and slide to play on while Dale rested again. He gets worn out quickly, but always enjoys visits. Enjoyable visit!

This week I began to think that I can do all this. I have been able to find time to get a few things done. Then, I realized I had two extra days off from work (fall recess). Oh well. Good while it lasted. Sure was a couple of nice days to have.

Mellow fall day

Dale's friends at work are keeping in touch with him. Well appreciated. They are trying to find people to donate time for sick bank because he will need more than what he has on his own. If you are able, please do so. I think Dale is worth it!

Yesterday and the night went well enough. Dale hasn't been able to find a comfortable position and moves frequently all day long, not a restless adjustment, but a discomfort adjustment. No chair, couch or bed has given much comfort, so he keeps moving from one to the next. I guess that is okay, gets him up and about-probably the only exercise he can handle now. The day looks to be a mellow fall day. I am glad for that.

Salty foods and caffeine for Jan

Assumption: if I don't add something daily, then: 1) things are just fine, 2) I am so exhausted I can't produce one more thought, 3) we are in emergency stages and there is no time to blog, 4) I am staying busy making sure Dale is okay, 5) I just did not get around to it, yet,  6) I am trying to figure out what has happened and need time to think before I write, or 7) I am on "vacation." This delay, probably a bit of 1, 4, & 5.

Thursday Dale's blood counts were good enough to come home. The day before was an adventure, though. His blood pressure was high, pulse rate high, nausea high, headache pounding, antibiotics dripping, and negative reactions to platelets. They ended up giving him a beta-blocker that worked well and so the night went well and blood counts good enough to come home. Small miracles like that happen all the time. I must administer an antibiotic twice each day through his lines. It is a ball of medication that I hook into his hickman port. Then I have to flush that line again. Not difficult, just important to stay in line with the timing on it.

Today, Dale feels much better, has enjoyed calls and visits, and is resting. I tried to give platelets today, but my blood pressure is too low. Hmmm. Guess I best I eat salty foods, drink caffeine, and get some rest.

Poor Guy, what's next?

Tonight Dale was pretty quiet. He was able to eat a late breakfast and dinner and seemed to enjoy eating it instead of forcing himself to eat because he has to. One glad there. Results of the CT scan last night may have been a sign of an aneurism, but when a neurologist looked at it, said no. That was a scare for awhile today. They also told Dale that his skull was thinning--or in other words--osteolytic. Still need to find more information about that one. The team decided more information was needed so they ordered an MRI for better details. I hope to hear about that one tomorrow.

He has an intestinal infection, therefore, nurses must gown up whenever they treat him so that they do not take his infections to someone else. He may have become infected by someone at the hospital, or by non-hand washing food preparations. My hands happen to be raw from so much hand washing and sanitizer. I will clean them deeper. I bought medical latex gloves to use more consistently. I am worn out, but know there are many who are caring for us and keeping us in their prayers. Thank you. We know this is helping us continue from day to day with each challenge as it comes.

When Dale was given platelets tonight, he had reactions to them, chills, increase in blood pressure, and so nurses assisted him more intensely. They were very efficient and kind. I am glad for their skills and care for Dale. Vitals every 15 minutes are taken along with the platelet transfusion, that is how they monitor his reactions to the transfusion. Once I left, he was much more comfortable.

There were too many people on the roads on the way home, but a beautiful night to see the mountains, city, and autumn colors. The drive is not so bad, really. I have it memorized. The Wasatch Blvd. side of I-215 and Foothill are some of my favorite drives...until the snow flies. So far it has been good, well except for that one time, the first day of chemo, way back in July....

Dale is not a headache but he always has one

The night went relatively well. Headache left-for awhile-then back again. It shouldn't be there so they are checking on possibilities with CT scan and such. I do not know the results yet. White blood count went up slightly and another count is being done now. Constant changes and adjustments are made.

One of the PA's told Dale that the nurses and CNAs really like working with him. I can see why: he always engages in conversations with them and knows their interests. He is positive, brings smiles, and shows appreciation to them. Go Dale!

5th pint of blood

Platelets and 5 pints of blood since yesterday and still not doing well.

They have given Dale 5 pints of blood, platelets, antibiotics, and oxygen. He has a constant headache at level 8 most of the time. Doctor just ordered a CT scan on his head to make sure there is not something else going on there. Dale is feeling fearful and has many reasons to fear what his body cannot do for itself and what the medical treatments may do to him. Although he has received the blood, his counts are still low. A couple of weeks ago, it was similar and then suddenly the counts drastically improved. This is such a strange and unpredictable cancer. They told us in the beginning that his condition could change in either direction and quickly. Experience has shown us, yup it changes and boy oh boy! It is a roller coaster of emotions in all directions with fear, hope, then sadness, anxiety, loss of hope, emptiness, then deep appreciation for friends, love, compassion, forgiveness, understanding, and then boredom. Dale needs visits and calls. He will listen to voicemail if he cannot get to his phone. His emails will be read once he gets home and feels well enough to read them.

Infection dance

Blood cultures came in and say there is an infection. I do not know where or what kind of infection, but that is one reason why Dale feels so lousy. They gave him platelets, and two more pints of blood, so he feels better, but the infection, will keep him there for a while until that is in check. Poor guy. Body just does not function too well. He asked the doctor if there was something he could do to get white blood counts up. The doctor did not miss a beat and told him they have found that a certain dance just might help...he'd get back to us on that one.

I am glad doctors have a sense of humor.

Room 4511

Huntsman again

Dogs & cleaning gloves

Friday was another very crazy day at school, but we made it through without 99.9% of students and teachers knowing what hit our offices today. The guy in the Halloween death costume did not help--scared the secretaries. It is strange that way, unless you are one of us, most people have no clue what goes on in order to keep students safe and learning, parents pleased, and teachers teaching.

I thank those that read the blog and comment occasionally. The blog helps me to process what is happening and gives me a place to keep records.

I volunteered to go to football last night, but was told it was covered and that I wasn't needed. Great! Now I am not needed at work any more or is it that I have trained them all so well in the last couple of years, they can do it on their own? Apparently, they needed me because we lost the game! Plus, I was told I need to spend time with Dale anyway--I work the dance tonight, so all is well...except Dale is not feeling too well. We may be taking a trip to University ER either early in the morning of later tonight. He thinks he can wait until...??? Headache, stomach pains and lots of bathroom breaks. (Thank goodness for cleaning gloves!)

Dale insisted on vacuuming last night, so he did the downstairs, and today the upstairs. I cleaned and completed Saturday chores (Mom will be pleased) and put in a couple hours of study too. Feels good to be able to do "normal" things as though things were normal.

It was such a pleasant fall evening, I decided to go for a walk, well, with my lawn mower. Felt good to be out and being productive, although, I found that dogs have enjoyed my lawn also, left gifts, and killed the grass on the edges. So what do you do? I cleaned out the tomato plants and found a cat's license collar. I heard the owners in their back yard, peaked over the fence, and gave it back to them...what could they say? Thanks?? I don't mind that people have pets, just that they don't keep them (and the gifts) out of our yard. We did, when we had dogs. It is just respect for others. If this entry seems out of sequence, it is. I drafted it, then we ended up in ER, I took picture and added that entry before submitting this one while waiting and waiting in ER.

Early morning in ER

We are becoming familiar with ER staff now. Dale is weak, diarrhea,  stomach pain, and vomited.

I am glad there are newly paved freeways with clean, well seen reflector lines in dark hours. I am glad the ER staff is so nice. I am glad for Sundays as a day of rest--I need it, and will get it eventually. I am glad we got here in early morning hours--it's so much better than late night people in an ER waiting area.

Two pints & what a night!

Blood counts were low. Received two pints. Feels better. This will be a normal process in between chemo treatments, therefore, every 3 days, blood tests will be done to determine where he is and if and when he will need transfusions. I am glad he made it through. I am also glad for the beautiful basket of food left for us today. Kindness continues. Thank you.

The night was not so good. Two laundry loads and minimal sleep for both of us. Dale tried to stay "out-of-my-way" by staying in the other rooms, but somehow, I know and wake up to check on him several times. What a sweetheart he is: Dale tries his best to do what he can to keep my life as unobstructed as possible. To be able to take him to Huntsman for the blood work, he decided he would come to work with me and wait in the car until it was time to go. In the dark of the morning, and before Huntsman center offices were open for patient appointments, we drove to work, bundled Dale in a blanket, and I met with angry parents about their naughty son who denies his aggressiveness in a fight, then proceeded the process for others in this fight. It took me about 1 1/2 hours. Then the center was open and we were able to go. One must know, though, that I offered to come back home to pick him up or bring him into the school in our break room-a quiet corner that no one would even know he was there for an hour or so, but no! Dale needed to be as less as an inconvenience to me and my routines as possible! It worked out and all is well, but my goodness, I really could have come back home to pick him up! We have several more of this type of blood work appointments during my work day, so we will need to find a better way, it is getting cold out there. Perhaps if students don't get into trouble, parents accept that their child does make mistakes, and students actually attend school and engage in learning, before school meetings may decrease.

Still glad, even though

Wednesday went alright for Dale. Nothing too exciting, no big events. Hallelujah! Some digestive track problems, but nothing like before. He is very weak but manages to get around alright. Today we go in for blood check-ups and perhaps will know more after results come out. I had one of those crazy days at school. Our new intern had the experiences of becoming an assistant in less than 24 hours. It all happened--one incident after another, but we made it through, all are safe and well--I am glad.

I am Glad

Days continue to be 24 hours of care & work. Not everyone knows what is going on in our lives, but I feel like I have to tell anyone I meet. I went to the dentist yesterday, and besides canceling Dale's appointment, had to tell the office our plight. I gave them the blog address and almost pleaded with them to make sure they read and keep up with it. When I go to the grocery store, I feel like they need to know that almost everything I am buying is for Dale's needs and the critical care necessary. On our fall leaves drive the other day, I felt resentful to all those people on their bikes, doing healthy things and being able to do so! Don't they know that Dale is on the edge of life, and that I am doing all I can to care for his needs?? What are they doing?? Get out of our way and let us enjoy the serenity of fall colors without you there!

These thoughts have plagued me for a couple of weeks. What do I do with them? I watched Pollyanna with Hayley Mills. The Glad game must be a part of my thinking from now on.

I am glad...

• that the Huntsman Center is right here in the valley
• that Dale keeps such a great attitude
• that there are many people that do know what is going on with us and supporting us in anyway they are able
• the weather has been decent-especially to travel the 52 mile round trip to Huntsman
• that most students at school are good kids
• that teachers let me know of their care for me
• that pansies garnish my desk in a pumpkin vase
• that I work with a wonderful group of people
• that I am forgiven for the many mistakes I feel I am making
• that Dale had a pretty good day yesterday
• that Dale will be entertained today with kind neighbors sharing talents with him

I will need to keep this list going just to put my mind in a better place than it has been for a while here.

Medications

I brought Dale home from Huntsman yesterday afternoon. He seemed to be fine but tired. Once I got him home, he napped for a couple of hours. I think he tells the nurses that he has anxiety about driving home with me driving, these days, and so they give him "something for that." Next trick is to figure out all the medications he is to take and when to take them. The kitchen counter is lined up with them and to figure them out, one must know Latin. He had a quiet evening and the night was good too. I think his recovery will be okay. Blood work on Thursday, and then doctor's appointment next week, perhaps starting the next round. We, at least, have some knowledge of what to expect and how to work with it. The routines are becoming familiar.

Giving platelets

I spoke with Dale three times today. He has slept most of the day. A headache plagued him throughout the day and therefore, more medication was given and put him out. Looks like he will be ready to come home tomorrow morning some time. Several days of rest and then back again. He loves visitors, and that keeps his spirits up. We will have to become more and more careful, though, of hand washing and keeping the home sanitized. If you want to see him and you may be getting a cold or flu is setting in, call, or send a card but please, do not breathe around him. Flowers don't work any more, sad for me because flowers work well for me. I will be extra cautious myself this season of colds and flu, bundling up more, staying away from outdoor activities, sanitize hands and our home all the time, and staying as healthy as possible.

I gave platelets Friday. It wore me out a bit, so I stayed home and recovered. Movie night and a cozy blanket for me at home. If you can, give blood &/or platelets often.  I felt I could not go to our football game (we won!), for two reasons, I gave platelets, and it was miserably cold. I cannot compromise my health, yet I felt like I was letting everyone down. Sorry guys.

Thank you to the many prayers, thoughts, and wishes that come our way. It is felt and appreciated. My vessel has been depleted lately, and is beginning to fill back up. Thank you for lessons taught, love shared, and caring shown.

Clarifying what's next

Dale was tired Saturday. Probably from the chemo, duh! Spirits still positive and nurses enjoy his company. Nice. Keeps the days more bearable.

I feel that I may need to clarify what the process is for the next several months. There are two combinations of chemotherapy formulas. "A" formula means Dale stays at Huntsman for 8 days with several drip lines at different rates the entire stay. "B" formula means Dale stays for 6 days with another cocktail of chemotherapy constantly the whole time. That is a lot of drugs! He will have 6 to 8 rounds of "A" & "B" formulas. There will be about 15 days in between the chemo and then start the next. For ease in knowing where we are in the cycles 1A &1B, 2A & 2B, and so forth will be used referring to what cycle it is. That means there is 336 hours of chemotherapy for each cycle. When Dale is done with this one, he will have 672 hours of chemo.

 Once the chemo is completed, the bone marrow transplant (BMT) process will begin. This may seem strange, since his stem cells were harvested last week as part of the BMT but they had to harvest them at an optimal time to be used later. If there are no complications and the schedule is followed as set, the BMT may begin about end of February or March. One hundred days are planned for BMT. Several weeks in the hospital in a negative atmosphere room, then a couple of weeks home with 24 hour care to watch for health changes. They give him a BEAM chemotherapy at that time also.

 Doctors say he is doing well. They adjust the rate for the speed the chemo is administered, check PH balances, blood counts, and all sorts of things to help him out. The main issue he had last round was with diarrhea which seems to be in check now. Yeah for all of us on that one. We have the routines in order and proceeding fine. I, on the other hand, am a mess. I feel overwhelmed and incompetent. Concentration is over powered by care of cancer and it's needs. That's all.

2B smiles and counting days until retirement

Three bands on arm at start of chemo for this round. One is his ID, one for penicillin, and the purple is for DNR. The treatments have gone well this time so far. There is one line that has an extra formula protecting the liver from the chemo. This is also the round of chemo where last time they gave him eye drops several times a day. I haven't seen those yet. Dale's PH needs to be at certain levels before chemo is given, so they check that frequently. Dale told me he has a better attitude about the treatment and hopes that he just may make it after all. He says he thinks he can do the 21 or more days just fine once he gets to the BMT part. Dale is doing well, the doctors say, and may only need to go up to 6A/B or perhaps 7A/B. That means he is doing well and the cancer is losing. Yippee! Note the slight smiles on Dale, perhaps that is because I walked in the room! Here it is October, and we began in July. Seems so long ago, yet February seems very far away if we only have to go to 6A/B. Then BMT begins. He has begun to count the days until retirement again. That is a good sign. Keep counting and figuring Dale, keep on counting.

Room 4523

A bit of snow today. Seasons have changed since we began and will change 2 more times before it is completed. Hopefully, by the 3rd season, it will be for a checkup and not admission to hospital for treatments.

So far so good

Nurse said he did well with chemo last night. Haven't heard from Dale yet. That is good because he is sleeping well enough not to wake up every 1/2 hour. Will report more as I know more.

2B today

I take Dale to Huntsman this morning to begin the next round of Chemotherapy. He is doing well and ready to submit himself once again to the process. Six days this round. Constant chemo drips. Constant care. Constant don't feel so well for the six days and hopefully, better when he gets home. Last round with the B formula blends, there were two weeks of laundry in one day (for two weeks), many neighbors sitting with him through the weeks, and ER visits-one turning into an additional Huntsman week's stay. The Science Project hopefully has been adjusted making this round of chemo more doable for Dale.

We are so grateful to phone calls, visits, cards, thoughts, meals, Celestial Cleaners, and Heavenly Sitters. It makes this "easier" continuing. Coming home to a clean smelling home, freshly vacuumed and dusted is so appreciated. One thing that I can shelf in the back of my mind, because I know someone is taking care of us. Many, many thanks to all that have been there for us.

Clorox, our new friend

We attended a meeting with the BMT team at University Hospital. Met with social worker, nutritionist and a nurse. Each gave us their part of what is to come. All were a bit surprised we were there so far away from the actual time Dale will do his BMT--not for several months, and not until chemo is all done. He begins 2B Wednesday and has until 6A/B to 9A/B, so a several months to go. They called us, set the appointment, and so we received the instructions. By the time Dale's begins, there will be a completely new Huntsman Hospital section for BMT patients. That will be nice. Summary of the instructions: 100 day process of 10 or so days preparing Dale for BMT at hospital, in & out possibly. Three to four weeks of BMT process at hospital in a "negative atmosphere" room which has everything he needs because he won't be leaving the room. If he does leave, it will be with mask and sanitation gear. After the three to four weeks there, he comes home for two weeks of 24-hour home care, by me &/or others that can transport to Huntsman, check for symptoms and such that will need to be addressed at Huntsman BMT.  Home will need to be sanitized, dust free, with well-cooked food only. Burnt-cheese sandwiches each day may get old, so I will have to learn to well-cook more foods. Raw foods won't work, fruits & vegetables need to be peeled and cooked, I will eat the berries, Dale will eat the peaches. Good, because I don't like to share my berries and I don't like peaches anyway. Restaurant and deli foods are forbidden-not safe enough to eat (what does that tell you?).

All in all, lots to prepare for, and sanitation is a must. Visitors will need to begin wearing masks or just not breathe when they come over. Hand washing needs to be thorough. Sanitation, bleach, and disposable gloves will be the decor and air freshener of choice. Be aware.

Good Sundays

Sunday was a good day of rest and rejuvenation. I am loving other people's recipes and cooking. It really is an act of love and service to us. Visitors checking in on us is also a great joy. Dale felt much better today--a good night's rest and whatever goes on inside his blood making system, must have worked okay. His voice is good today, and appetite fine. We had a talk of faith this morning as I was flushing his lines which seemed to help his fears. Good job, Jan! That is what wives do so well.  

Home, but not too well

Home now. Saturday chores sort of completed (sorry, Mom). Watching conference. Dale not really feeling too well, is quietly suffering, and anxiously waiting for the next event his cancer treatment will bring forth. That is just how it is. I want to be by him for support, not even downstairs, it is just better to be together. I think he likes it better if I am close by.  I do too. This is a crazy, crazy mess. Dale is curled up on the couch, watching a Hallmark movie. I am trying to work on paper, a little. Good luck on that. Have found some more resources though, now I need to read them.

Friend brought dinner-delicious! Thank you. Another mowed lawns. Thank you.

Donate Blood

Huntsman Center takes careful steps along the way. Dale was admitted then doctors take blood results and consult on what is next. They finally gave him additional pints of blood last night around 6 PM. That was 24 hours from admissions to ER. In the meantime, I believe the drip lines included antibiotics and saline for hydration. His spirits were good although until after blood was delivered, pretty weak. They told him that he is right on the track with other patients; they all have the same kind of reactions to treatments, stem cell harvesting, and, well, cancer. We will attend a BMT class on Monday. Looks like that part of treatment will be very intense and difficult so they have to prepare us several months ahead. Thing about Dale, though, once he gets the information of how hard it will be, he will begin anxieties, fear, and hopelessness for the several prior months, anticipating and trying to prepare for the worst. I need to be aware and cognizant of his anticipatory needs and anxieties to assist him in making it through.

Slight smile today. 

Spent time with brother and his wife, and sister last night. Delightful time. Spontaneous gatherings are nice and well needed. I put a plead out to all to donate blood and platelets if you are able. We had blood donations at the school and added an additional day to provide services to all volunteers. Go students! It is a good way to give of your time and self to others, with minimal pain.

Beautiful sky view from room 4510.