Home alone

Dale made it through a day alone. Me at work and Dale and the couch or bed were friends today. He told me he tried to rest, tried to read, tried to be okay, but pretty weak and not so good really. Afraid of what is next, and his body not doing so well. Pain in abdomen, knee still hurting from the fall 2 weeks ago and blood pressure up a bit. I suspect blood count is low again. He goes to Huntsman for lab work and consult with doctor, so that will give a bit more direction. If they keep him there, I do not believe it will be for chemo treatment, rather, to build blood up because it is low again. But that is just me thinking. I know next to nothing about this whole mantle cell lymphoma cancer, just that it is a mess.

Blood pressure

Two weeks ago, low blood pressure was one of the bigger issues. Now it is high blood pressure. With that in mind, we will not really know what to expect and have to deal with Dale's body changes as they come around. I suppose the body is as confused as we are as to what to expect next and it is working as hard as it can to sustain life. Dale is doing alright overall. We have the flushing-his-lines process down. Not that big of deal, but important. Tomorrow,  back to Huntsman for blood work and visit with doctor. It would have been his eight-day chemotherapy but with his other health issues, they said it may be delayed for a week to give his body time to "heal."

The weekend was nice to have time for us. Good talks. Dale eating a few meals, well, food items anyway. I would not call a bowl of cereal, or cooked carrots a meal. He did okay food-wise though. Good step forward.

Gratitude

Weekends are good days. People are able to think of others and visit the sick. That is us. Recipients of such goodness. Kindness surrounds us and we feel the love and concern. The Holy Spirirt must be working overtime in our behalf by bringing us who and what we need as we need it. We are grateful. In listening to Dale tell his story of the last two weeks, I learn how neither of us really knew how seriously ill and fragile his health condition was for several days there at Huntsman. His body was sending what it could to the organs necessary in sustaining life. The rest had to be put aside because of the chemo side affects on his system. Not an easy process. Dale is on the edge of diarrhea control. He has eaten meals today. Rested most of the day and appreciated the visitors. I flushed his lines without incident. Good girl, Jan. I am really glad, though, that I am not a full time nurse. I appreciate all the medical folks and glad they are doing so much, but I rather do what I do, in the assistant principal role I am in. It takes many of us to make a community function well. Tomorrow we plan to have a mellow uneventful day. Hope it is!

Hanging in there with Football Saturday

Dale is just hanging in there, has fears of the unknown physical surprises, however, is eating simple meals today.  He organized his medications in such a way that he knows which hour he is to take which medication. That will be helpful. We had to line up which generic name matched what medication listed-a bit confusing, but we got it organized, now. The home-care nurse flushed and cleaned his lines. She also spoke with us about what to expect and what to look for. Dale's feet are swollen and his blood pressure is high, even though he is back on the medication for it. The nurse called Huntsman, gave the information and was instructed to have Dale watch over it, be calm, and keep feet raised. They are still a bit swollen, but not quite as bad as earlier.

I suppose a day of Football on TV is a good thing, especially if your team wins. That is what Dale is doing today, comfy in his Lazy-Boy Chair, downstairs, watching football. What?? Downstairs? He has been banned from downstairs previously. Well, his balance, energy, and his independence levels are pretty good, especially compared to 7 days ago. We were in the ER at this time last week, waiting, and waiting, and waiting. I find out this morning that once he was admitted to Huntsman, the doctor had a discussion with him about what if they needed to resuscitate him if it got to that point that night. Or in other words, he was on the edge of death. Good thing we let ER and Huntsman take over. That is what we were dealing with all week-weakness, low blood pressure, the diarrhea all while his blood count got lower and lower. Dale has a Living Will and they will just follow his desires from that document.

Me? I took care of domestic chores and concentrated on assisting Dale in whatever he needs to be okay. I am working hard to keep him in the state of mind that he needs enabling him to deal with all these ailments. Friends have called, sent cards, or visited to make sure all is well. Thank you. My studies? In my head still, although I did make a title page for the next section I am writing.

WWII movie night

Dale is home and feeling okay. I got to Huntsman and he was ready to go. Appetite good, system doing well. As soon as we got home, he wanted to eat a chicken sandwich. I figure he can have whatever he wants. We spent some time with the list of medications figuring out what he is supposed to take when. They really have it detailed out. His balance and energy are fairly decent and so we are downstairs watching a WWII movie. Therefore, I am distracting myself and using my laptop instead of really watching. I believe this round of home time will be mellow enough that Dale will get cabin fever, but too bad. Can't do much nor go anywhere. He is doing just fine. It is good to have him here, although the war movie is, well war.

I must again relate kindness at work and home. Kind words, looks, hugs, and a few tears of support keep coming our way. Those energies consistently come around. What can I do, but keep doing the best I can each day? Neighbors called to make sure Dale was well enough to be home and ready to jump in if necessary.  We are blessed to have such good people around us.

Dale keeps mentioning how scared he is now of what his body will do next. It is an unknown world of unexpected, unplanned  body ailments and issues that are ahead. No wonder he is scared. Life with cancer takes on some curious turns and twists each day.

Energies returned

Looks like the food is doing what it should in Dale's body. He ate real food and it digested as it should. His spirits doing well. It has been a long week for him. I believe his home time will be good and he will not need the intensive care so much. We'll see how the doctors feel about that. They will probably tell him that the chemo will have to wait for him to catch up with the schedule of health. One week of delayed chemo makes sense, and I do not think he will be so fragile this go around. I look forward to a bit of normal.

Again, I am amazed at the care I receive from friends. One friend from my doctoral cohort, just had to come by and give me in-person support. His visiting gift means much to me. I do need people. Another at work, gave me a Native American stick that I am to burn with my prayers and let the smoke meet with the heavens. I will wait until Dale comes home to do this. Perhaps it will be part of a Labor Day Activity. The timing of these mercies fascinates me. I must be emitting some energy that says, I-need-you. You,-not-just-anyone,-but-you-right-now. And you come. Thank you thank you thank you. I do not know what else to say, but thank you for finding that energy and bringing it back to me.

No real differences

Still the same. Discomfort, diarrhea, but blood counts okay. He may be progressing a bit. Nurse told me he had a good night and he is improving. They will start new medication to assist with the diarrhea today. Hopefully, it will work and he can come home for a while before he goes back for treatment. We have not heard if the scheduled chemo beginning next week will be delayed or continued. Holding pattern for us, I guess. There is not enough time in a day to do all the not only I want to do, but need and must do. Too bad, though, staying up late just does not work for me. Stuff will just have to wait. I am whittling away at what I can, bit by bit. I suspect, many people have the same problem: no time. I am no different. Another neighbor brought kindness to me last night. I am grateful for the timeliness of such kindnesses that have come our way. Someone higher than us is working with us on this journey.