Downhill

After our visit with the mantle cell doctor, Dale found he should be taking his regular medications. Oops. He was so concerned that he had to follow the calendar from the chemo, that he did not think to take them. So he began those pills today. That would explain some of his symptoms lately.

He slept well last night for the first time in weeks. He was groggy when I got up, balance was off, mind trying to make decisions. He thought we should fill the gas can for the lawn mower before I left. He was very insistent that should be done. I was able to convince him we could do it when I got home. However, plans do not always go as planned.

I received a panic phone call while at work. Dale lost an excessive amount of bowel fluids within moments. Off to ER we go. Friends at work rallied around to help with transportation since I tend to be a bit emotionally attached to My Dale.

Will post more as I learn more. Actually, the other ER patients make an interesting and infectious watch.

He doesn't look sick on the outside, but you should see the insides!

9:30 PM CT scan finally completed, and questionable. They may move him to the Huntsman Cancer Hospital for a few days. Still waiting to hear. I am home, another friend took over the watch with him. Appreciated.

9:40 PM Keeping him there. Lesion on a liver, but they don't know what that is about. Huntsman will take over.

Surprise, surprise

I was surprised by Dale visiting us at work. My team is a great team of men, with several secretaries supporting us. It was good that he was able to do so and tell them himself how he feels and what is going on. Thanks, guys, for listening with compassion.

But then, once I got home, Dale had taken a turn for the worse and we headed to ER. He had back pains that he thought were from kidney stones. Several hours later, with morphine, blood & urine samples, and ultra sounds, they sent us home. Only thing was possible elevation of enzymes in liver. Don't know what that means, could be an effect of current medications. We will let the doctor know today as we meet with her for blood samples and consult of conditions.

It was interesting to be at University as a research and teaching place. ER doctor instructed and explained processes more in detail to the resident as Dale was taken care of. Interesting. They were both very professional and personable.

Sign of the Times

I have begun to notice that Dale's skin tone, eyes, and voice are changing. He normally has a consistent healthy looking skin tone even when sick, but it is becoming less vibrant. His eyes have dark circles and are dull. His voice is rattled and gravelly. Energy level decreasing rapidly. Sense of humor still in place, his mind fine, although sense of urgency on some things continues. Dale does not like to sit still very long, but finds himself unable to focus for any amount of time. He says he rests at night, but does not sleep and wonders around the house, to the couch, to beds downstairs, not able to find comfort or sleep. He has projects in his mind developing which keep his excitement going. I am glad for that.

I believe it is really a downhill road from here on out.

Sundays

Sundays are good days. We both feel uplifted with love, faith, and hope. Many people's spirits, friendships, and goodness, came our way. Both Dale and I feel the prayers and energies of love from many around us. It helps a lot.

Today I begin the new school year, although last week was the first week--I was out of town most of it, so figuring our routines for the year will be in order. My studies have been on hold since end of the semester class and the rest is dissertation processes so it is really on my timeline. I do not want to delay it too long, just slow down a bit maybe. I am thinking that my "super focus" times will assist me in keeping my heart and mind in balance. Time is valuable to both Dale and I and our times together need to be priority.

On we go.

Ten minutes to 3 hours

We went to Dale's first vincristine infusion today. Now we know what and where it is, but this morning was not good. He felt great pains in his abdomen all the way to Huntsman. Criticized my driving and became a passenger seat driver. I obeyed, he should have as much comfort as I can give, which as the day continued, I did not do so well. Parking garage was pretty bare, so that was okay. He really did not know where the appointment would be other than south of Huntsman center, he thought. Nope. I left him sitting with some nice security men in the wellness center and hunted down where we were to go. It was actually in clinic areas we had been before, just around the corner, which is south of clinics he knew of.

He felt so lousy, it put the nurse on alert, who contacted whomever, and verified his treatment for the day and added three more hours to the process. Would have been 10 minutes of chemo, but with the added treatments for his condition, longer and more stuff. When she injected him with the 10 minute formula, she had to put on contamination gown and gloves and protected Dale's skin around the injection: it eats skin. My oh my! Kills skin, so what does it do inside? Hopefully, JUST kills cancer.

Nurse's magic worked well, so his energy increased. He had some errands to do with me in tow. He felt well enough to drive. Good. I would rather drive alone any way. I did not say much, but what I said did not do well. So then I cried. Hate that! We settled the issues and continued the day with pedicures for us both. Red toes for me. I took a picture to add color to the post, but I thought it a bit odd, so I did not. Nice to relax and be taken care of for a few minutes, though.

All that goes on in my head happens at night, I guess, because I do not wake up refreshed. Hope I can make it through each day of work without becoming ornery and then so exhausted at home, I become even more ornery.

Two Days Home

I got home from San Diego late on Wednesday. Dale got home several hours before that and was very pleased to see me arrive safely home. He had so many experiences to tell me about that I was up even later. I am not good without sleep, although it was fun, yes, actually fun, to hear Dale's excitement of his learnings, ponderings, and feelings. He is working hard to keep a spiritual focus.

Dale has minimal energy but yet needs to be as productive as possible. He is able to think match clearer than while on chemo. That stuff plays havoc on a body. I see dark circles around his eyes, which is not normal for him. Perhaps this is one of those signs I will need to look for during this whole experience.

He should be home for 14 days before the next round of chemo. Some lab work tomorrow and Wednesday will tell doctors what is going on and if treatment need adjustments for longer at home or shorter times between therapies.

A friend mowed the lawn last night. He asked if I wanted it bagged and how short to cut it. Thinking that a bit shorter would make up for the twice a week mowing that Dale normally did, would make it last longer between mowings. Unfortunately, 10 bags and three hours later, it was done. It normally takes about 30 minutes. So now what do I do with all that bagged grass? He was smiling each time I came around in amazement of what I had requested of him--after all, he told me, it was his idea to bag and more shorter! Before this whole deal is over, i may lose friends. I had better be careful about what I ask for.

Doctors decided the pick line should not stay in until the next chemo--to much of a risk for infection. That is our main concern from now on. I have sanitizer everywhere for me, him, and anyone that comes around. Guess I best carry it with me also. They have also told us that if his temperature got to 101, I would have to get Dale immediately to U of U Emergency Room. No other place, because it would take any other place too long to get to their protocol for mantle cell lymphoma. No pressures.

Dale's first day home brought visitors from neighbors. He enjoyed it. As I come back into my work scene, people ask how my summer was. Sometimes I need to tell them the answer. But I also think I had better warn them...are you sure you want to know? Sit down. Secretaries are all very supportive, my boss tells me I have a very long rope to work with to get through it. I work with a huge family of friends. I will need them. I already feel their love and concerns.

Dale and I thank everyone.

Coming home

Dale gets to come home today. He has been a good sport through this round of chemotherapy although one of the last ones had the affect of drinking Fleet all day. Better at hospital than at home.

I come home from San Diego tonight. My head finally emerged out of fog mid-day Tuesday. I am up to a day at a time versus a moment at a time.It has helped being with a great group of teachers for and administrators.

Dale tells me many friends have visited him. Thank you friends. It means alot to both of us.