Still glad, even though

Wednesday went alright for Dale. Nothing too exciting, no big events. Hallelujah! Some digestive track problems, but nothing like before. He is very weak but manages to get around alright. Today we go in for blood check-ups and perhaps will know more after results come out. I had one of those crazy days at school. Our new intern had the experiences of becoming an assistant in less than 24 hours. It all happened--one incident after another, but we made it through, all are safe and well--I am glad.

I am Glad

Days continue to be 24 hours of care & work. Not everyone knows what is going on in our lives, but I feel like I have to tell anyone I meet. I went to the dentist yesterday, and besides canceling Dale's appointment, had to tell the office our plight. I gave them the blog address and almost pleaded with them to make sure they read and keep up with it. When I go to the grocery store, I feel like they need to know that almost everything I am buying is for Dale's needs and the critical care necessary. On our fall leaves drive the other day, I felt resentful to all those people on their bikes, doing healthy things and being able to do so! Don't they know that Dale is on the edge of life, and that I am doing all I can to care for his needs?? What are they doing?? Get out of our way and let us enjoy the serenity of fall colors without you there!

These thoughts have plagued me for a couple of weeks. What do I do with them? I watched Pollyanna with Hayley Mills. The Glad game must be a part of my thinking from now on.

I am glad...

• that the Huntsman Center is right here in the valley
• that Dale keeps such a great attitude
• that there are many people that do know what is going on with us and supporting us in anyway they are able
• the weather has been decent-especially to travel the 52 mile round trip to Huntsman
• that most students at school are good kids
• that teachers let me know of their care for me
• that pansies garnish my desk in a pumpkin vase
• that I work with a wonderful group of people
• that I am forgiven for the many mistakes I feel I am making
• that Dale had a pretty good day yesterday
• that Dale will be entertained today with kind neighbors sharing talents with him

I will need to keep this list going just to put my mind in a better place than it has been for a while here.

Medications

I brought Dale home from Huntsman yesterday afternoon. He seemed to be fine but tired. Once I got him home, he napped for a couple of hours. I think he tells the nurses that he has anxiety about driving home with me driving, these days, and so they give him "something for that." Next trick is to figure out all the medications he is to take and when to take them. The kitchen counter is lined up with them and to figure them out, one must know Latin. He had a quiet evening and the night was good too. I think his recovery will be okay. Blood work on Thursday, and then doctor's appointment next week, perhaps starting the next round. We, at least, have some knowledge of what to expect and how to work with it. The routines are becoming familiar.

Giving platelets

I spoke with Dale three times today. He has slept most of the day. A headache plagued him throughout the day and therefore, more medication was given and put him out. Looks like he will be ready to come home tomorrow morning some time. Several days of rest and then back again. He loves visitors, and that keeps his spirits up. We will have to become more and more careful, though, of hand washing and keeping the home sanitized. If you want to see him and you may be getting a cold or flu is setting in, call, or send a card but please, do not breathe around him. Flowers don't work any more, sad for me because flowers work well for me. I will be extra cautious myself this season of colds and flu, bundling up more, staying away from outdoor activities, sanitize hands and our home all the time, and staying as healthy as possible.

I gave platelets Friday. It wore me out a bit, so I stayed home and recovered. Movie night and a cozy blanket for me at home. If you can, give blood &/or platelets often.  I felt I could not go to our football game (we won!), for two reasons, I gave platelets, and it was miserably cold. I cannot compromise my health, yet I felt like I was letting everyone down. Sorry guys.

Thank you to the many prayers, thoughts, and wishes that come our way. It is felt and appreciated. My vessel has been depleted lately, and is beginning to fill back up. Thank you for lessons taught, love shared, and caring shown.

Clarifying what's next

Dale was tired Saturday. Probably from the chemo, duh! Spirits still positive and nurses enjoy his company. Nice. Keeps the days more bearable.

I feel that I may need to clarify what the process is for the next several months. There are two combinations of chemotherapy formulas. "A" formula means Dale stays at Huntsman for 8 days with several drip lines at different rates the entire stay. "B" formula means Dale stays for 6 days with another cocktail of chemotherapy constantly the whole time. That is a lot of drugs! He will have 6 to 8 rounds of "A" & "B" formulas. There will be about 15 days in between the chemo and then start the next. For ease in knowing where we are in the cycles 1A &1B, 2A & 2B, and so forth will be used referring to what cycle it is. That means there is 336 hours of chemotherapy for each cycle. When Dale is done with this one, he will have 672 hours of chemo.

 Once the chemo is completed, the bone marrow transplant (BMT) process will begin. This may seem strange, since his stem cells were harvested last week as part of the BMT but they had to harvest them at an optimal time to be used later. If there are no complications and the schedule is followed as set, the BMT may begin about end of February or March. One hundred days are planned for BMT. Several weeks in the hospital in a negative atmosphere room, then a couple of weeks home with 24 hour care to watch for health changes. They give him a BEAM chemotherapy at that time also.

 Doctors say he is doing well. They adjust the rate for the speed the chemo is administered, check PH balances, blood counts, and all sorts of things to help him out. The main issue he had last round was with diarrhea which seems to be in check now. Yeah for all of us on that one. We have the routines in order and proceeding fine. I, on the other hand, am a mess. I feel overwhelmed and incompetent. Concentration is over powered by care of cancer and it's needs. That's all.

2B smiles and counting days until retirement

Three bands on arm at start of chemo for this round. One is his ID, one for penicillin, and the purple is for DNR. The treatments have gone well this time so far. There is one line that has an extra formula protecting the liver from the chemo. This is also the round of chemo where last time they gave him eye drops several times a day. I haven't seen those yet. Dale's PH needs to be at certain levels before chemo is given, so they check that frequently. Dale told me he has a better attitude about the treatment and hopes that he just may make it after all. He says he thinks he can do the 21 or more days just fine once he gets to the BMT part. Dale is doing well, the doctors say, and may only need to go up to 6A/B or perhaps 7A/B. That means he is doing well and the cancer is losing. Yippee! Note the slight smiles on Dale, perhaps that is because I walked in the room! Here it is October, and we began in July. Seems so long ago, yet February seems very far away if we only have to go to 6A/B. Then BMT begins. He has begun to count the days until retirement again. That is a good sign. Keep counting and figuring Dale, keep on counting.

Room 4523

A bit of snow today. Seasons have changed since we began and will change 2 more times before it is completed. Hopefully, by the 3rd season, it will be for a checkup and not admission to hospital for treatments.