Nature is best

Our visit today was pleasant, just the two of us (and hospital staff, of course). I took pictures for the history pieces. Dale looked better today than yesterday, but grayer and without energy. His sense of humor is tired, although he is working hard to be social and pleasant. We did have a good laugh together, can't remember what about but we both felt the joy of a good laugh.

Dale's room is on the east this time. We will be seeing the changing of the seasons from this side of the hospital. He says he likes the quiet and peace of nature on the hillside. I tend to agree.

He looks worn out to me, here.

The hospital is quiet of people on weekends, however, those that are there, remain professional and pleasant.

Rose Gift

Yesterday Dale did well with treatment. How do they figure out what to treat him with anyway? This round also adds in eye drops several times a day to prevent blindness. Great! Another issue for him to deal with. Chemo may kill cancer cells, but it looks like its side-affects are pretty vicious also. His spirits are solid, attitude tiring although boosted greatly by friends, family, and visitors at any time.

This is the rose bush that the Heavenly Angels planted for us the other night. It looks grand and we will always remember its presentation of love.

Work seemed to have extra stressors around, although I turned one situation around that may have been an additional stressor. Youth-in-Custody student had "attitude" which I skillfully turned into excitement to join our student body. Yahoo! There is so much to do to get a high school to run effectively, I am not sure if one can understand unless they have been there themselves in the whole process. Staff, teachers, students, counselors, coaches, advisors, PTSA, volunteers, and administrators-or in other words-everyone that walks in the doors-put in so much time, thought, efforts, training, adjusting, heart, and soul to keep it running well for America's children. I am amazed at all that goes into each day to educate America's youth. It is good to have a weekend before students arrive for the school year. We are exhausted, yet will be ready Monday morning to greet students for a new year.

After I left Dale last night, I noted smoke in the sky at Parley's and I215. As I approached, fire fighters, police, and other emergency vehicles were approaching. Semi-Truck accident caused the brush fire. Once I got back to the high school, I called Dale to make sure he knew I was safe since--well--I have history (recent history) of car wrecks coming home from hospital. I went back to the school for a wedding reception of the school's IT Travis. I wanted to give him support for all the support he gives us. It was lovely. I am glad I was able to attend. We also won our football game (I followed it on Twitter), so it was a good evening.

Rest and be rested

I took care of me a bit and I feel rested and better to cope. That tells me I need to get good rest consistently (duh!). Dale is pretty chipper while in the hospital this time. Visitors and staff take care pretty well. He is confident they are addressing the extra care for the kidneys on this round of chemo. Day two is much better on him than the treatments before. Good. That's all.

Next round

Today begins the new phase of the chemo mixes. Dale was delivered to Huntsman for blood work first to determine if he was able to begin this next mixtures of chemo. Yes he is, so they put in a line of some sort, not a pick line or a port, but something else for the chemo. The first mix is the same that caused his violent chills and reactions, so it won't be a fun night. Diarrhea is taking over his system and this round will not help. It also is not too friendly with the kidneys, so they will watch that carefully. I am glad he is in good care of the hospital and not home. I am not so good of a nurse.

Dale is spreading love and caring still as he continues to weaken with the treatment and its side-affects. I recall when I decided to marry him, that if so many people and friends felt such joy to have Dale as a friend, he couldn't be all that bad. That legacy continues. Everywhere he is, people enjoy his friendship. I am lucky to have him as mine.

Dale has had numerous visitors. A whole group took annual leave from work to visit. When I got home, visitors kept coming one after another. Unfortunately for me, I was very, very tired--exhausted actually. And I still needed to be social and gracious. I had a hard time keeping awake; I had to move around, get up to get something, or something to keep awake. I realized that I am missing my "Jan" time. I need time for myself more than I thought. The thing is, Dale really needs not only "Jan" time but lots of people time too. How do I balance all that? I am so tired.

Amazing Grace

One never knows the impact made on another until the circle comes back around. Many young people came to our home and descended upon the overgrown bushes, weeds, and groomed the yard. Neighbors drove by in awe! So many of the youth, we did not even know, yet, gave us their time and our love for each has grown tremendously. Their giving hearts and hands were felt by us with the grace given to us. It was amazing. Several came to me offering more service as time progresses and our needs increase and change. There are two more people blessed with JOY because of the evenings activities. America is in good hands with the 20-somethings (and a few 30-somethings sneaking in to help out) and their ambitions, golden hearts, and seeing beyond themselves. Two church hymns came to mind: "As I have been given much, I too must give" and "As I have loved you, love one another." This evening will never be forgotten.

It's not about me

I sat in church today with many faithful people, each with their stories to tell. I am, at this time receiving much attention, prayers, concerns, and questions. What about them? I hear bits and pieces of someone's dilemma and know they have needs also. Who is to say one is greater than the other? That is amazing to me the compassion and care friends, neighbors, family, and acquaintances have for one another.

It is good to be a part of so many caring people, each doing their part to lighten burdens of others. Many I have only known for a very short time yet they are very willing to serve us. I sat by one gal whose needs are as great as mine, yet she made sure I felt her concerns for Dale and me. Her time in asking me about my needs fascinated me because I really don't know much about her, although I did learn her name today. This got me to thinking. Do we need each other, to serve, to care for, to understand, to have compassion for another in order to be happy? Doesn't it just feel good to help someone in need? Losing yourself in the service to others makes so much sense. It feels good to give, and now that Dale and I are recipients of such service we feel the goodness of genuine voluntary service. Our joy is great as I venture to state, as is the joy of those serving.

It isn't about me and our huge need of support, service, time, understanding, and hope. There is a greater plan in this journey. One that I am learning to appreciate more and more as the journey continues. I may end up alone much earlier than I thought and I am finding I do not need to be alone. I can always serve others and will know happiness in doing so. My little family of Me, Myself, and I will need to become We, Ourselves, and Us (which, by the way will extend beyond My Dale and I). A hard lesson to learn for someone who has been able to do it on my own most of my life. I am working on it!

Smile on the outside

Hair-be-gone. Only thing we could control when it would happen, although it was clumping out today.

Feels resolved that this is lousy, but what do you do? Dale is working well to be as optimistic as he can...considering. This is a miserable way to feel.