Home again

I got a call this morning telling me that Dale was ready to come home. Yippee! He is still incredibly tired and weak, but happy to be home. Schedule ahead is Monday to Huntsman for blood labs, Tuesday to IMC in Murray for PT scan, then later for bone marrow biopsy at Huntsman, and Thursday back to Huntsman for more blood labs and doctor appointment. We will have lots of fun! Nice to have things to do. It is great to have Dale home, although he is somewhat disappointed in all the waiting and that he is not feeling any better. We spent the evening home watching a movie, together, and that is good.

From 4540 to 4524 with 4 pints

Dale was moved to room 4524 which is in the chemotherapy section of rooms he normally stays. They did not do this until someone else checked out, therefore opening a room for his care. Since he had the chaotic episode yesterday, they put a heart monitor on him for 24 hours, then determined the heart was just fine. In the meantime, platelets and 4 pints of blood later, Dale feels much better. Antibiotics drip constantly into him and his temperature is in control, now. He is the talk of the staff & nurses today now he is back to his regular area. Many come to his room to say hello, heard about yesterday, how are you doing today....

When Dale feels better, he is talkative and social. That he is today. Blood does him wonders.

No snow yet, but no leaves either.

I am grateful to the wonderful, dry, albeit cold, weather we are having now. Makes for pleasant drives to and fro.

Stay home with me

Dale asked me to stay home with him today. "As you wish," I said. It was a good thing I did. He was very weak, unsteady, and nauseated. By the time the home-care nurse made it over for the blood labs, he developed a fever and it began to rise. We called Huntsman, who said to come on in. Once we got there, he was taken into the clinic to draw labs from both arms to better locate where bacteria was located. The right arm was completed then they began on the left. He gagged, vomited, and passed out. That is when the action began. I do not know how long he was out because I stepped aside to get out of the way so the teams had plenty of space to do what they are trained to do. Several of the staff checked on me almost as much as they worked with Dale. They did well with both of us.

After the chaos calmed, they moved him to the new Huntsman Hospital Emergency Rooms to stabilize and assess. We walked through back halls and into another room with more medical staff. We were only there for 45 minutes or so, when they were able to find a room for him in the new BMT (Bone Marrow Transplant) wing of rooms. It should have been in the ICU but it was full, and BMT is probably a better place for Dale with his lack of a functioning immune system. All sorts of familiar faces came by to check on him. They did a great job. He will be in this room until another opens up for him. Probably will stay for at least 4-5 days to eradicate the infection.

Glad I stayed home.

Reflection of room 4540 with rock walls 

Not too happy to be there but happy that he got there

Normal days

A teacher expressed his understanding and care for Dale and I as we venture valiantly through this abyss of cancer. A staff member questioned what happens if I get sick. Fortunately, that question was overheard by another, giving the answer: "She'd have to live with us!"

I am set! No worries. Friends are taking care of me, cuz I sure need taking care of as I take care of Dale. Kindness, smiles, I care, and so on, gives strength. Thank you.

It seems sad, too, that Dale and I are too adjusted.

"I just don't feel too well, but its okay, I'll be fine after the home-care nurse comes today for lab work."
"Okay, give me a call when you find out if you need a blood transfusion. Have a good day! Luv you, bye."
"I don't want to bother you at work, but okay, I'll call. Luv, you, bye."

"Oh dear, did you have a situation today?"
"Yeah, twice."
"Sorry, Honey. How do you feel now? Have you eaten anything? What about your medications?"
"I'm okay, just tired. Cheese and some other stuff."
"No meds yet, huh?"
"How was work?"

This is our life right now and our discussions seem so regular. I recall, looking around at all the normality going on around me and wondering how people can be so normal when my life turned upside down. I am very grateful for regular things happening, though. Dale and I do as many daily regular things as possible together. For me, the interacting with varieties of students, teachers, and parents, working with the politics, economics, and promises bring a sort of understanding and support of those of us that need to feel, it really is just another day. Yet that day can be cherished more so, with the non-normality going on inside our worlds. Sadly, though, Dale is not able to go to work or much else to get a feeling of normal. Normal is good, but complacency with his health condition is not. We need to be alert enough to notice changes that warrant critical care times. I believe we are, the adjustments we make are the survival skills to do so. It takes 150% all the time.

Waiting

The home care nurse came yesterday, drew blood, took it to local hospital labs, and they faxed information to Huntsman. Results indicated Dale needed platelets, so he called me at work and we made the journey to Huntsman for the platelet transfusion. He feels slightly better, but I suppose there will be blood transfusion within the next week or so. Dale rests all day but really does not feel well. His mind is full of thoughts to heal, yet is plagued with weariness. He tries hard to be positive, not "get in my way," and be a good patient. Nurses see him and greet him cheerfully by name, some even shaking their heads in a look of "Dale! Good to see you, except I am so sorry you are going through this ordeal. I will do what I can to make it easier for you." That helps him a lot.

I feel forever grateful to my team at work. The guys are phenomenally supportive and understanding of my ineptness, spontaneous and abrupt dismissal from the day, and respect of our needs. Faculty and staff fit right in with a huge basket of gratitude. I feel that Dale and I are "handling" things pretty well, actually, but oh my goodness! If we did not have the support of friends, families, neighbors, co-workers, staff at Huntsman, and all the positive thoughts and prayers for us, it would be so so much harder. We get a hint of hope, in each moment of care and service we receive.

This month has tests ahead to determine what treatment is next, so in the meantime, we wait. We wait for chemo to go away from his system. We wait for bone marrow to produce healthy blood again. We wait for answers of each day's questions. We wait for the day when this is done. We wait for completed tests. We wait for tests results. We wait for further instructions from his doctors. We wait.

Laundry loads

Two extra loads of laundry on Saturday made for an exciting day for Dale. Always on the go. We believe it to be in control today-better at least. The weakness has set in, voice down, but okay. He is doing the best he can as his body gets rid of chemo. Although this may be the final chemo treatment, Dale still has to go through what happens after each chemotherapy session. He said he dreamed about his hair growing back, already but it did not happen, yet. Still lots of treatments left, we just do not know what that means yet.

Then and now

Today, I felt good, and Dale tried to feel well, but the after chemo effects have begun. Tired, weak voice, diarrhea. Hair has not gone back yet, but weight is still down. It comes down to a day at a time, sometimes less of a day and things turn around in either direction. Dale tries to keep positive even on days as this when he has such low energy and wants to "get things done." He gets something in his mind that needs attention and so it is, until it is completed. My focus is to keep him comfortable and without added stressors or negativisms. He really needs continuous care and consideration to keep well. That's what I do. Take care that Dale is taken care of. Look at his eyes. Hope in first picture, weariness in the next.

Week before chemotherapy began

Today, may be last of chemotherapy