Supporting always

Either high stress, depression, or cancer has caused Dale's ailments in the past several weeks. All probably contribute. Work (just another couple of months until retirement) causes much of the stress, however, he goes faithfully each day whether or not he feels well enough to go. Depression, another one of those ongoing conditions that I am clueless about, although Dale has plenty of reasons to be depressed. The thing is, though, there are plenty of reason not to be depressed! Another year of life granted. Retirement really almost there. In fact, having a job/career is a blessing in itself now-a-day. Because of his fragile health, mental state, and short-timer life condition, I say a lot of "Okay." "What can I do for you?" "Are you comfortable?"  "Do you need anything?" I add some, "I love you" too.

And then there is the cancer thing. His symptoms was simply tiredness before diagnosis. He still is, but add in the consistent diarrhea, and new to the list is vomiting a few times a day. He does not report fevers, blood pressure is okay, and he seems to make it through each day, except he needs lots and lots of rest. His day ends about 5:30 PM if not earlier. He gets up at 3:30 AM, which will come to an end in just a few months! We are making slow progress on some of the things in the Bucket List and adjustments to other lists.

I feel pretty helpless right now, because it could be cancer, but it could be stress and depression. I have decided, it does not matter. He needs support and he needs lots of it. That would be me.

Good to be boring

It is Valentine's day today and I thought I would cook dinner for us tonight instead of asking to go out and rustle with crowds. I fixed what I thought was an okay meal, Dale politely ate what he could muster eating, and quietly went to bed. He watched TV for about 20 minutes before the TV went off and he was gone...and it was only 5:30 PM by then. Oh well. Such is the romance for the week!

Last year, our front door was attacked, heart attacked to be exact. Neighbors plastered it with Valentines and thoughts of care, hope, and love. We have come a long ways since then. We are back to normal. Go to work, eat, sleep. Go to work, eat, sleep. Go to work, clean house, eat, sleep. Repeat.

However, it is good to be boring.

Bone marrow transplant one-year report

Saturday, January 5th, was Dale's one year bone marrow transplant birthday. In the past two weeks he completed several health tests checking levels and that he is still in remission. PET scan, lungs, hearth, blood test, etc. all indicated he is doing okay. Okay means that he has a small spot by one lymph node. It is enough to mention, yet not to be concerned with-yet. His lungs function at about 68% which is down from previous tests. He will continue to be on the 90 day check ups to keep ahead of the cancer for at least another year.

The BMT doctor reiterated that most (over 50%) mantle cell lymphoma patients have a relapse in the first two years after transplant. Once it comes back, he will need a bone marrow transplant donor since the auto-transplant won't work. His system will be too compromised and its immune system will need help from a donor. Until that point, we continue with every day stuff.

Dale was pleased with the report, however, I can see why he feels an urgency to work on his bucket list.

Big red truck

Happy Remission!

Cancer remission brings interesting perspective on many things, especially when two friends diagnosed and treated within the same few of Dale's diagnosis have already passed away. Another, one year ahead of Dale, also passed away a few months ago. Each had very similar (lymphoma) if not the very same (mantle cell lymphoma) cancer. Dale wants to do what is right, get things in order, and be a productive, happy man. So....on Black Friday, he left the house for a few hours, returning with a great big 4-wheel drive, red extended cab, truck--which barely fits inside the garage. It really is a beautiful vehicle and he feels better. Must be a man thing. However, when he took the car in that I wrecked on his first day of chemotherapy, he had an emotional detachment period. Driving the truck helps him get over it though.

Today is day Day 330 of bone marrow transplant. Still going strong, although he has a cold--enough to work from home for the third day.

Better days are coming

Dale had his quarterly blood work and check up this week. Report is good. Blood is progressing well and it looks good. They scheduled CT and PET scans again in a couple of weeks to keep ahead in case mantle cell lymphoma sneaks back. They told him the first two years past bone marrow transplant and chemotherapy is most critical time, so the CT and PET scans are to catch anything unusual early enough to treat it. He still continues with diarrhea problems and does not really know what to do to curb the urgent needs.  Stress never helps. He is a pretty good sport and looks forward to better days ahead, AKA, retirement.

Steam cleaners

Things have gone well lately. Dale has worked longer days more frequently, energy level increasing, and sense of wellness stabilizing. It is as though last year did not really happen, except we know it did. Our memory of events is vague until someone or something brings it to the front. Strange how the mind protects itself when necessary. Yesterday, day 300 since bone marrow transplant. Almost one year.

However, Dale still has situations occasionally. Usually at home but sometimes elsewhere. Once I got home yesterday, I knew something was amiss: laundry going, smell, and Dale more than his normal exhaustion. Twice. Once at work, another as soon as he arrived home. I am grateful to the steam floor cleaner we have. Works nicely, especially on the wood floors.

I don't know the causes of the ongoing diarrhea, other than the chemo reactions. It does not seem to be sensitive to a particular food. I believe the mantle cell lymphoma treatment further weakened his digestive system. I do not think the cancer is back, yet. They say 3-5 years and it will return. For now, we are about 65% of our normal lives. I am even making progress on dissertation proposal. Just the other day, as I continued on with my day of crazy work, I thought to myself that I finally felt that I am functioning at about 85%. Still more to go, but much, much better.

Harping doesn't work

Last week Dale told me he felt better, his energy slightly increased, and closer to normal although not there yet. Unfortunately, there are many responsibilities at work that demand his presence. Recovery time between work days may become somewhat limiting. He will need to rest as much as possible to do what he needs to do. I will have to quit harping at him to do stuff! I mean, after all, he looks fine!

Dale has situations at least once a day now so daily laundry loads have begun. The tests said there was some inflammation but nothing to be concerned about. My take is the chemo and bed rest killed off acids and muscle he needs to control, but what do I know?