Anemia

Dale took himself to ER yesterday. Anemia and viral infection. Bone marrow not producing enough red blood cells and a weakened immunity. He takes a viral antibiotic already--although he forgets to take it sometimes, and he needs to eat healthy. Nothing new and part of the recovery time. On we go.

Fatigue

Dale looks good. Skin coloring healthy, hair seems to be fuller with less graying, and sense of humor growing. Inside, though, he is extremely tired. He reports it is difficult to get out of chairs, walk, and other simple moves. He slept all day yesterday, got up for dinner with friends, maintaining as best he could, and went to bed when we returned home. Another day of sleep today indicates a downhill sign. He does not like to miss work, however, does not have enough strength to make it in. He continues to fight a cough. We thought maybe pneumonia set in, however, x-rays had no indication of such. The next cancer doctor appointment is in one month. If remission is over, so be it.

Today is my birthday. Just another day. Happy Birthday, me!

Daily pace

I was out of town for a conference this week. When I came home, Dale was asleep and hardly noticed me. I could tell by the way our home had extra clutter and unfinished tasks around that he barely made it through each day. He says he is okay, however, sleeping for twelve hours and still being tired is not a good sign. The cancer doctor appointment is in about four weeks. If remission is over, we will know then. I do not have any feelings of what is going on, other than, Dale is doing the best he can to be productive each day but cannot keep up with the daily pace.

One year ago

 One year ago-chemotherapy; Last Friday-Zion National Park

One year ago Dale received his first round of chemotherapy, I got in a car wreck on the way home from the hospital, several months of treatments began, we learned about cancer, medical procedures, and the kindness of many friends. This picture was taken in Zion National Park while we explored one of the walks. It was a beautiful day, temperature mild, and wonderful nature scenes. We realized it was the one year mark of Dale's first day of treatment. I like this activity better and I did not wreck anything on the way home. The next chapter begins.

Tired days

Day 190 was last Thursday. Generally, Dale goes from day to day okay. He needs much rest and feels "just not right" although he continues to make it through each day. Sleep does not give rest but Dale gets up, goes to work, comes home, and unless he has a social event or obligation of some sort planned, he is done for the day. His work provided him with a laptop to bring home and continue working when he needs to. I hope he will take advantage of that benefit because he is exhausted each day. Last week's colonoscopy brought no surprises, yet. Biospies will be in probably next week. I hope remission continues. Dale says he feels as tired as he did before diagnosis.

Gloves

Good thing Dale's colonoscopy is next week. The issues are still present. Had to get the gloves out, turn fans on, and clean up the results. Dale reports constant problems in the digestive system and fears there will be more treatments of some kind. He is incredibly fatigued most of the time, however, he manages to make it through each day. Last night was the first night he actually slept most of the night. His lungs must be full of the smoked air from the excessive fires in the state because his raspy voice is constant. Breathing, digestive, and fatigue issues consume his health conditions.

Trouble ahead

We are in trouble. I feel that Dale should have whatever he wants since he made it through over 1300 hours of chemotherapy with grace (sans constant diarrhea) and survived it. He thinks I should have anything I want since I managed EVERYTHING so well. Now what? Should be easy, since we "want" similar things, however, it takes away those passionate discussions we used to have convincing one another in wanting the same things. So be it for communication skill development. Surviving cancer brings unpredictable changes in relationships.